Returning from my trip with a few realizations about myself:

The good news is that I am out of my winter funk. I was on the edge of that place where you either know you can pull yourself out with some focused effort or you know you're going to go under and lose control. But the combination of sunshine and warmth and stimulating conversation and just having some fun seems to be just what I needed.

I have hope for spring and for a new day. I feel like me again. I can do this!


The other news, and I don't know if it's good or if it's bad, is that I realize now how much I need that kind of stimulation in my life. And how much I'm not getting it my current state of affairs. I need to talk to people. I need to listen to new ideas. I need to have some fun. I need to people to laugh at my jokes. Not all the time, but sometimes. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with that revelation. But I guess becoming more self-aware is still a good thing.


Amazing moment of the week: Returning home and going to visit a favorite aunt. Who is dying. She held me tight and hugged and kissed me. And I her. She said, "I was waiting for you to come." I had a time trying to hold back the tears--and I still am. The power of pure and unfettered love undoes me every time.


Why do most of us have to wait for the proximity of death to let ourselves feel and express such love?