20 good things for 20 years

1. Waking up this morning trying to muster up enough umph to tackle the negelected dishes only to find one of Santa's elves had done them after he got home late from playing basketball.

2. If you have to be memory-challenged like me it's nice to have someone make up the difference for you, especially when it comes to remembering names. He never forgets a name. This is something for a school teacher who gets 25-30 new students each year in his class, but also knows the names of the rest of the third graders at his school, too. And remembers them (and their birthdays) 17 years later.

3. Sometimes when life comes at you fast and hard you don't know whether to laugh or cry. Lucky for me my other half has a good sense of humor. On most days anyway. This is essential when one has a houseful of teenagers. Especially of the female variety.

4. He's a good man with a good heart. He took the most excellent care of my grandparents lawn and other needs for years, while also being at the beck and call of his aunt and uncle. And now he is the number one landscape consultant for my mother. As well as all the widows in the ward.

5. While his aunt was at the intermediate care unit of the hospital and again recently while his uncle was doing time at the Trinity Mission Shane was such a frequent visitor that he soon learned the names and the stories of their roommates and their neighbors in their respective units. He's nice and friendly like that.

6. Now that my grandmother and his uncle are neighbors at the Jamestown he is a regular there as well. He is now starting to get to know the names of the neighbors. And the help.

7. He's a good dad. We kind of take turns at who's going to diffuse which situation and whose turn it is to play good cop or bad cop. That's nice.

8. The other night we were at dinner with my BIL and SIL and their tiny baby. They had invited my oldest son to come, too. The baby needed a diaper change and it was funny to watch my son's reaction--"We'll I'll never..." Lucky for me his dad (and I know he'll come around when it comes to his own kids) is not adverse to tackling the dirty work when needed.

9. He takes out the trash.

10. Another handy thing to have around when your memory is unreliable is a dedicated journaler. When I need to know when or where or with whom something happened way back in '92 (or even earlier) he knows exactly where to find the information. Amazing, really.

11. He's not addicted to Warcraft or Halo 1, 2 or 3.

12. Best buns in 501s two years in a row back int he 80s. And he's still got it. Way to go!

13. In a world where materialism is all the rage its refreshing to know and love someone who's just not into that. It makes it a little hard to shop for him at Christmas and birthdays, but it's still so much nicer to not have the pressure of keeping up with the Joneses. (Although if someone were passing out iPhones this holiday season I think he might be interested.)

14. Not only does he keep a good record of our lives through his journal, he could also put together a pretty extensive and complete photo documentary. He has a way with candids as well as scenic and wildlife photos. Someday when we have time to organize them it's going to make quite a scrapbook. (tee hee)

15. Did I mention he is a good man? He likes to surround himself with good people and learn at the side of other good men. He tries to look for the best in people and be positive even about those people who try really hard to get on one's bad side.

16. He's a good provider. The road of a school teacher is not an easy one, but he always worked nights and weekends at a second job until he worked so hard to earn excellent grades in his master's program in order to bring in a little more from his first job. He puts in way over 40 hours at school even though its not compensated. And he never made me feel like I needed to work outside the home. When I went back to work after the kids were in school it was my choice.

17. One of the first things that attracted me to him was his love of the simple beauties found in nature. He helped me become more aware and appreciative of a brilliant sunset, the gorgeous red and yellow of the fall leaves and even a perfect rose. Just last night he phoned home to make sure we ran out to look at the sliver moon.

18. I will never forget how it made me feel one day (and many more since) when I was with him in the halls at the local high school and I witnessed big tall boys totally let go of their "cool factor" to run down the hall yelling "Mr. Rowley!" and run up to him to give him a hug. I cannot even tell you how many kids he has loved and served all through their youths. They get it that he really cares about him. You can't measure that kind of value in a teacher with a letter grade or a test score. One of my friends put it best when she said his area of emphasis as an educator is self-esteem. As a parent I know that kind of boost for a child is priceless.

19. Sometimes he completely makes my day with the tiniest of gestures. One day a few years back I came home to find a vase full of pussy willows after simply having mentioned a few weeks earlier that I wished I had some. Yesterday morning I went out to find the ice scraper tucked into the handle of my car. Little things mean a lot.

20. He's put up with being married to me for a whole 20 years. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if he knew what he was getting into (strong, opinionated, independent...but I try really hard not to be nag) or if he wishes he would've chosen one of the other half dozen girls who were trying to butt in line in front of me when I returned from my mission. But he doesn't complain.