Taking a nap on Luke's bed.

I've spent a lifetime trying to woman up to whatever life deals and put the positive spin on just about everything, but sometimes it feels good to let myself just accept what I'm feeling--no matter what it is--without judgment. I haven't spent much time in Luke's room because keeping busy and distracted is a good way to avoid what I'm really feeling. But today I was alone and I laid down on his bed and I felt sadness wash over me. Not the deep gut-wrenching kind (well, mostly not anyway)--there was enough of that the first few days he was gone. Just sadness because I miss him--I miss his presence in our home. And because I know that although he is working so hard and praying so hard to keep his spirits up, he is homesick for us too.

It's good to have a home one can be homesick for and to have a son one can feel sonsick for.

It's good to be able to feel sad.

And it's also good to get up and get back to work.

Indian summer.

Not running the furnace or the AC for an entire month.

Transatlantic e-mail.

Pumpkins on the vine. My first batch of pumpkin spice soap. The pretty pumpkin color accented with ambers, ochres and crimsons of the fall foliage.

Football. Family. Friends.

good friends with good books

the rumble of thunder (let it rain let it rain let it rain!)

a flexible work schedule

that my husband did the dishes and brought me tomato basil soup w/ orzo pasta from Zupas last night

Puffs Plus w/ Lotion (again)

cool nights

the scent of crabapples and pomegranate stewing together on my stove

the enormous full moon hung low on yesterday morning's Western horizon

Having a friend spontaneous enough to cancel her plans for her day off and run up to SLC with me to

catch up on each other's lives

hear my kid solo in the State Jazz Fest

kick around with me, said son and one of his friends amongst the pigs and the chickens and the goats

munch on candied almonds and pecans

run over to the U of U

wander amongst the masterpieces of the Monet to Picasso Exhibit

partake of mango curry chicken salad at the f/stop cafe

appreciate the perfect day

notes from all over:

From the seminary secretary after I explained to her why Z~ was absent last Thursday:

Also, just let me tell you that Luke is one of my favorite young men. I have always been so impressed with him and know that he will make an outstanding missionary.



Sis. L



From a friend of Luke's who wrote to request she be put on the list of people to whom I'll be forwarding Luke's e-mails:

Hi Sister Rowley!

This is Jamie and I was just wondering if you would put me on the list of people you forward Luke's emails to. My email is (deleted). Thanks! I also wanted to thank you for raising such a righteous son who is so strong in the gospel. I admire you and your husband for all that you've done. Luke always talked about his Mom and Dad while we would hang out and he taught me that respecting your parents and elders was always one of the first things on the list to do. Thanks again, God be with you and your family!

Sincerely,
Jamie


I can't take any credit--Luke is who he is. I just loved him and gave him the space to become. But I appreciate the thoughtfulness of people who take time to write and it's a pleasure to know Luke is a force for good in places other than just our home.

I cannot even tell you how much I love the pouring rain.

(Not to mention the accompanying grey skies.)