I like how at 4:25 yesterday afternoon my boss sent me an e-mail telling me to go home. I like having a job I am good at and to which I am dedicated and committed. This may sound weird, but before I went back to work I had serious doubts about my potential for that.

But it's nice to be appreciated (my boss mentioned that in her e-mail, too) and to have a boss who recognizes that although I am dedicated to my job, my family comes first. I like working in a place that allows me to seek the best balance I can find with home and work.

It's a huge blessing. I know.

Now that everyone is back I can tell you that I was home alone from Sunday until today and I liked it. I mean sure, I missed everyone. But quiet was nice. And getting stuff done was nice.

But I kind of wonder what my family thought when they came home and found big chairs wedged under the two doors that don't have deadbolts or what they would have thought if they knew I slept with two different phones by my pillow?

I'm a wimp with an overactive imagination. But for that I had a good time (mostly).

Becoming as much of a homebody as I possibly can given the fact I'm a work-outside-the-home mom.

The clearest purest blue sky this morning.

Packages in the mail (a hand-made scarf meant to give love and hug every time I wear it and a birthday present from my sister who was trying to come visit but was stopped by the storm).

Dinners and evenings with my kids and their fun friends.

Finding the perfect January wall planner/calendar well, before the middle of January!

Husband doing the dishes.

Post-holiday retail therapy.

Central heat, flannel sheets and my favorite Buggy Barn Log Cabin Crazy Quilt.

Not to mention my very own cozy pair of sheepskin slippers.

(Thank you dear friends--you know who you are--for the scarf and the slippers.)

Being home.

Staying in my pjs.

Watching the snow fall...and fall...and fall.



Listening to Luke's recording of the Christmas story in Luke 2 on Christmas Eve.
Talking to Luke this morning.
Finishing reading the last four verses of The Book of Mormon (we are the last wagon) today over the phone with Luke during his phone call.



Candles burning.

The new Enya CD.

The anticipation of flannel sheets.



Generosity.

Love.

Prayers.



Blessings.

One of the reasons I got to stay in my jammies all day yesterday and not leave the house is because I was spared an early morning trip to Wal-Mart by a friend who showed up on Friday with the one thing I really, really needed. A pair of snow boots for my youngest. He's been traipsing to school every day in his big brother's old snowboard boots for lack of anything else to keep his feet dry. My friend Julie was cleaning out her closet and found a pair of great boots her son had worn only once and they were perfect.

In other news, I love it when the kids' friends join us for scriptures and prayer. We're rather sporadic at best, but we try and I think it's great when friends are willing to sit and listen and pray with us just like they are family too. My kids have great friends and I love them like family, so it just feels right to have them here with us.

Also today...

hugs

hope and faith and well wishes

carolers

Last night I made a vow to myself that I would stay in my p.j.'s all day and I wouldn't leave the house today. I guess I did end up stepping out the front door, but that was just to put a Merry Christmas sign up and toss a snowman out onto the little table by the front door.

I almost didn't decorate at all (well, except for the tree), but having a nine-year-old still at home who still gets excited for holidays is good for me. Especially this year. The snowman shrine and the santas are still in their boxes and it does not appear that Christmas threw up in my living room, but I have angels on the mantel (I might leave them up all next year), nutcrackers on the piano and the mostly hands-on nativities gathered around the coffee table. It made me feel good to be able to do that.

I may have taken three naps today, too. Which was good. I am spent and exhausted. It's a good thing tomorrow is a day of rest (we'll see about that).

I just stumbled upon the R.C. Willey bill I've been panicked over. Not because I bought the gorgeous bright red microfiber sectional I wanted there, but because I need to pay off the more-expensive-than-we-thought-it-would-be brake job I financed on 90-days SAC.

The truth is I don't have enough money to pay it and the VISA bill due two days after Christmas (that's what comes out of my meager paychecks--along with the car payment and my tithing).

The statement has been coming to me for the past two months and I didn't even notice the error. Given my current life events I never would have caught it--I would have just overdrafted in order to pay it off.

So this evening I am grateful that sometime since the last statement, someone from Big O Tires happened to notice that they had overcharged me to the tune of three hundred dollars and they bothered to correct the bill.

I think I should be able to just manage the current balance now.

A tender mercy indeed!

A quiet evening home. Safe and warm from the storm blowing outside.

Peace. Once the wind stops blowing there is a gentle and quiet peace that lies across the land when it is blanketed with snow. It's nice to feel the same peace within the walls of my home and within my heart at this moment.

I'm in a much better place today than I was this time last week.

A good part of that is because of the love and prayers that have blanketed us.

Thank you.

Already this experience is so humbling to me (both in the knock-my-legs-out-from-under-me-so-I-throw-myself-at-the-mercy-of-the-Lord kind of humbling and the people-are-good kind of humbling).

Initially I thought to myself, I'm going to look for one blessing a day to note here during this awful trial, so I can find a way to look on the bright side and be grateful.

But they are coming in too fast.


Last night we found a wrapped package the size of a shirt box on our stairs. It had my husband's name on it. Inside was an envelope on which was written:

Mr. R,

I know it won't put a huge dent inthe medical bills you're about to face, but I wanted to help. I love you and I'll be praying for your speedy recovery.

Love,

One of your past students whose life you've changed for the better.

Merry Christmas

Inside was a wad of twenty dollar bills.

It is exactly enough to cover Shane's medical deductible.



-----



Shane plays basketball "with the boys" at 6 a.m. every Tuesday and Thursday morning.

He's done this for years.

I knew it would be a rough time having to tell them last Tuesday.

And it was.

Today he came home and told me "The boys brought me flowers."

The "flowers" were really a brand new basketball.

Signed by "the boys."

Today I am especially grateful I have kept this little side blog as a place to notice, record and give thanks for those sometimes subtle but sweet blessings it might be easy to overlook or take for granted. I know that recognizing our blessings is especially important right now.

The closer it got to 3:30 p.m. Wednesday (our alleged--once we got there the receptionist informed us she didn't have us down for that day, but I had none of that and she worked us in--appointment with the surgeon in which we were supposed to get the results of the MRI and CT scan), the sicker we felt. I cannot even describe it. I had been trying to remain hopeful and have faith, but I really just wanted to throw up.

I could tell Shane felt even worse than I did.


I had no idea how we would be able to endure the usually long wait at the office.


For some reason I decided to run home from work for a second before I headed down to meet Shane at the doctor's office. As I drove up to house I saw a box at my door.

It was the box I have been quite impatiently waiting for long before it was even sent.

A box full of pictures from Luke.


We ended up waiting an hour and a half to go back to the exam room.

The 600 photos on 3 CDs pulled us through until they ran out about 8 long minutes before the doctor entered to give us the news.


All this time I had been so impatient and then I realized the pictures were supposed to arrive exactly when they did--just when we needed them the most.

Today I am grateful that even upon just learning of our distress people and families are praying and fasting for Shane. His name is being placed on prayer rolls all over the world. And even though it is a very busy Christmas season his co-workers are trying to plan a temple day on his behalf. We are so blessed to know such loving, faithful and hopeful people.

I am overwhelmed and humbled by all the love and support shown to us already and I know this is only the beginning.

I know I've said it before, but the sunsets continue to be amazing each night. And the view from the Provo Temple of the valley's night sky on Tuesday was breathtaking.

I am also feeling grateful for family--we spent the afternoon with my in-laws yesterday and it was very much fun.

And, since we only had two kids in the car and they each got their own row of seats, it was very enjoyable to not have any fighting during the car ride there and back.




I am so very grateful thankful for and enjoying gassing up for $1.65/gallon. Makes me want to pack up the car and go road-tripping!

Did you see the sunset tonight? Simply gorgeous. Breathtaking. Virtuous, lovely and of good report.

I am grateful for the beauty of the earth.