how is it possible to savor the warmth of the sun on my face so intensely and still be insanely excited for the promise of rain?

other good things of the day:

having a good workout this morning even though i was by myself

walking out of the gym to the smell of a brief and sudden rain on the pavement. it had passed and provo was dry, but it's coming. i can feel it

an account manager who called me today not because he needed something, but just because he wanted to tell me how much he appreciates my work

getting a free--and most luxurious--pedicure to help out my friend who is going to cosmetology school

sitting on my back deck and enjoying the weather and a visit from a friend while watching k~ and the girl next door swinging from the hammock and the chickens dig up bugs in the garden

listening to the leaves blow down on the roof so hard it sounded like rain

Par Avion

Well over 20 years ago I found myself serving a mission in Belgium and France. Scrawling the words Par Avion on my letters home.

Now I find myself writing that on my almost-weekly missives to my oldest child. Who finds himself serving a mission just across the pond in the U.K.

I am thankful for a SIL who reminded me--long before my own child left--that despite the wonders of instant and regular e-mail to and fro, missionaries still need something tangible. Something to feel in their hands, hold to their hearts, and tear open with anticipation.

And I remember.

There is the weight and value beyond any treasure in the feel of an envelope addressed by hand specifically to you and carrying with it all the love, support and memories of home and family long ago and far away.






Although I could just drop my letters to Luke in the mailbox posted just past the sidewalk out my front door, I don't.

I get in the car and drive them across town to the East Bay Post Office. And while I drive I pour all the love, thought, energy and prayers I can into the simple, unkempt handwriting scrawled across the pages of my letters to him.

Most of the news is either old or redundant by the time it reaches him. But I also occasionally toss in some memento of our lives here--the program from the Mr. PHS contest--with a play-by-play of the hysterically funny talent portion. A program from L~'s final choir concert at Dixon. The seminary graduation program with his brother's name listed under the section of graduates from our ward.

Small and simple things that I hope will remind him he is still a part of our lives even while so far away.

I miss him. I won't tell him that--as if somehow not telling him will help him miss us less (it won't)--but it's true. I pour a little of that missing into the letters as well. Along with a piece of my heart that still has a hole in it where his daily presence in my life used to be.

I don't know if he gets it. He is busy and is focused on his mission. As he should be.

But if nothing else I hope he feels the love. I hope it wraps itself around him and envelops him in a great big hug from home. I'd like to believe it is part of what seals us to him and him to us for eternity.

LOTS of love and BIG hugs--

Love,

Mum

Good day sunshine.

Too bad I worked right through it.

But at least I have a job.

Tomorrow I'm cutting out early and I will bask.

Oh yes, I will bask.

I like how at 4:25 yesterday afternoon my boss sent me an e-mail telling me to go home. I like having a job I am good at and to which I am dedicated and committed. This may sound weird, but before I went back to work I had serious doubts about my potential for that.

But it's nice to be appreciated (my boss mentioned that in her e-mail, too) and to have a boss who recognizes that although I am dedicated to my job, my family comes first. I like working in a place that allows me to seek the best balance I can find with home and work.

It's a huge blessing. I know.

Last night I made a vow to myself that I would stay in my p.j.'s all day and I wouldn't leave the house today. I guess I did end up stepping out the front door, but that was just to put a Merry Christmas sign up and toss a snowman out onto the little table by the front door.

I almost didn't decorate at all (well, except for the tree), but having a nine-year-old still at home who still gets excited for holidays is good for me. Especially this year. The snowman shrine and the santas are still in their boxes and it does not appear that Christmas threw up in my living room, but I have angels on the mantel (I might leave them up all next year), nutcrackers on the piano and the mostly hands-on nativities gathered around the coffee table. It made me feel good to be able to do that.

I may have taken three naps today, too. Which was good. I am spent and exhausted. It's a good thing tomorrow is a day of rest (we'll see about that).

I know I've said it before, but the sunsets continue to be amazing each night. And the view from the Provo Temple of the valley's night sky on Tuesday was breathtaking.

I am also feeling grateful for family--we spent the afternoon with my in-laws yesterday and it was very much fun.

And, since we only had two kids in the car and they each got their own row of seats, it was very enjoyable to not have any fighting during the car ride there and back.




I am so very grateful thankful for and enjoying gassing up for $1.65/gallon. Makes me want to pack up the car and go road-tripping!

11-29-08
I am thankful for the blessing of serving with my sisters as the RS cleaned the church. I didn't feel well; but I went anyway. As always, I get way more out of things like this than I give.

Having a day to mostly just hang around home, spending time with kids, watching a couple of movies, making pumpkin pie.

That my daughter cleaned her room. Really and mostly cleaned her room. And I didn't have to nag her once.

Today
The clouds were so beautiful this morning. I've loved the skies during the past few days--all sorts of shades of grey--and a little bit of rain almost every day. I'm loving it.

Feeling snarky:

I'm thankful I only had to wait an hour and a half for Z~'s doctor appointment today instead of 2 hours like last time.

I'm thankful for my "almost-free" digital TV converter box. (That works at the moment, except for the channel programming part, but which--despite it's high ratings--did not get rave reviews on the news tonight.)

I'm thankful (or am I?) that every time I convince myself I can quit blogging someone makes a comment about how much they love my blog (thanks cousin via FB) or they sort of reach out via my blog (thanks person whom I will protect by keeping anonymous) and I wonder if somehow this tiny thing isn't somehow a good thing, too. If it's a good thing--if it is somehow making a difference (even a tiny difference)--can I really quit?

I truly am thankful for my real family, my ward family, my blog peeps, and my heated home.

And I really love how I can start the dishwasher and/or a load of laundry on my way out the door to work and come home and have it all washed. If someone would find a way to have it dried, folded (only in the case of the laundry) and put away I'd be such an accomplished woman.

I love the quiet of a Sunday morning. Sleeping in until 7:19. Watching the sky change into morning hues.

I love the dark branches of the empty trees striking a pose against the brightening sky. But crabapples still bend the branches of our tree, a gift to the birds that will be grateful when the snow finally appears.

After months of days like this it's easy to wonder if winter will ever come.

But I do know tomorrow will bring another lovely morning for me to enjoy.

I was invited to teach the girls (Beehives) pie baking. We made sour cream lemon and cherry.

Best parts?

That it was my daughter's idea to invite me to teach.

That the reason she chose sour cream lemon wasn't because it is her favorite, but because she knows it is one of her leader's favorites.

That this is the second time I've taught pie baking to this group of girls (they used to be in my Activity Days group). I'm hopeful that someday at least one of them might carry on the tradition--the art--of baking pies from scratch.

That one of the leaders--a genuine and generous young wife and mom--just raved and raved. I know she'll go home and try this. She was so appreciative--it was really sweet.

Oh, and ending my day with a slice of sour cream lemon pie doesn't stink, either.

Life is good.

A Pumpkin Oreo shake for Family Home Argument treats after going shopping last night for our big Christmas package for Luke.

It really doesn't get any better than that.

I'm a couple of days late with my intended month of Thanksgiving on my little blog less traveled by, which is dedicated to thanksgiving. But here goes:

I am thankful to have served a mission. My mission was not what I expected it to be. But there are friends, companions, experiences, and learning opportunities that are dear to my heart. But perhaps the best blessing I received from serving a mission is coming to fruition now, as I am able to share encouragement with my missionary son from the perspective of someone who has been there.

I hope it is helpful to him.

Toasted Almond Fudge Ice Cream. In the form of a hand-stirred homemade shake. Yummy!

Movie nights. It's too hot outside or even upstairs so whoever is home hangs in the basement catching up on movies we are the last people on the planet to have seen. (I loved Batman Begins and I did not expect to all.)

The convenience of oral surgery. Wisdom teeth? Piece of cake. Someday I'll tell you the horror story of my wisdom teeth extraction, but Luke's went great. Whew! He can go to the U.K. now.

Getting bit by mosquitoes as I chatted on the front porch with my friend Tonya last night. (Really the chat part more than the getting bit part.) I love Tonya. She is one of my favorite people.

The fact that, at least until tonight (it's 1:40 a.m. and still 85 degrees out, and my AC is not even putting a dent in the 77 degrees it is inside--I need it about 68 to sleep), nights have been cool. I need air and it's been great to throw open my windows at bedtime each night and embrace the relatively fresh air. I think I may have to pack up the old cpap and head downstairs in a bit or I won't be good for anything tomorrow.

Going back to work Monday after a week off and having a few of the account managers who must have missed me practically gush over me because they, well, apparently missed me.

See's Candy. Just a couple of pieces of Summertime. They were out of the Key Lime Pie. Darn. Guess I'll have to go back sometime.

Having my teenage daughter ask if she could help tonight. She warned me she only had 5 minutes, but it was the thought that counts, right?

Being reminded this morning that you can make a difference in the lives of people you care about by doing simple things.

Being for the most part oblivious (well, probably for the most part in denial) that four weeks from tomorrow I'll be saying good-bye to my Luke at the airport and that two years is a really, really long time.

Making it till the middle of June without having to turn on my central air.

Heck, having central air to begin with, but especially making it this long without having to turn it on.

I need to move. Not my home, but my body. I can be diligent about working out with the right partner, but it has been decades since I have had the right partner. As the summer began and I considered my schedule and how I would fit into my day the things I want to accomplish I was longing for a workout partner. Ideally I'd go to the gym, where I have a shamelessly good deal of a membership ($2/year for the rest of my life). But my friends who go there, even though they invited me to join them, go right about the time I arrive at work. I cannot drag myself there by myself, because a lonely workout is a long workout, especially in the land of the surgically enhanced.

So ask me how happy I was when a friend of mine asked me on Sunday if I would be free to walk with her in the mornings before I go to work. At exactly the perfect time. Thrilled! And it's been fabulous so far, except for the ache of my crunchy kneecaps every day. By about 5p.m. it starts to wear off.

I don't care. I'm happy to be doing something that is good for me physically, socially and emotionally.

Wahoo!

and every now and then we get it a little bit right...

So family home argument can be a bit of a pain at our house--and that's on the nights when we actually get everyone together. But tonight was good. We helped Shane pack a truckload of boxes from the old school and took it down to the new school. And it's gorgeous. Oh the view!

Two of Zack's friends came along and I invited everyone back to the house for strawberry pie our sweet neighbor made for us because Shane procured and laid some sod for her. But I told them they couldn't have any pie until we'd read a chapter from The Book of Mormon. And prayed. Lindsay is into speed praying. I swear she could be an auctioneer. And my favorite line was "And thanks that it sort of rained." Because we got just enough sprinkles tonight to dirty the windows. I loved that she noticed and was thankful and I even loved how we all started giggling in the middle of the prayer.

The pie was good. The company was better. And sometimes you just feel good inside because even though you're not perfect--your life is not perfect--you still know you're getting it a little bit right.

Rain. Glorious, cloud-bursting rain. I was just about to get out of my car and start dancing in it with Lorien's kids but then there was a big clap of thunder. So I stayed in. But celebrated just the same.

The best part (well, except for the way it broke K~'s heart to miss his first baseball game) was the rain-out status of the game du jour. That meant for one night I could be home if I wanted to be.

I love a rainy day!

Bribery 101:

Last night, well after dusk, L~ was begging someone to go have a catch with her. She is a budding softball star and lives, eats and breathes softball now.

It was already quarter to nine.

I had been begging everyone all week to go clean the downstairs so Z~ can have friends over for his birthday.

So I stopped doing the dishes (which have never been fully caught up since the beginning of April) and made L~ a deal. "I'll come play catch with you for five minutes if you will immediately go downstairs and help clean the family room until 9:00."

She enthusiastically agreed.

What she didn't realize is that I came out on the best end of both sides of that deal. I got to play catch with my daughter. (I'd forgotten how much I loved to play softball. And my daughter can be a lot of fun to be around when she wants to be.) And the family room is clean (well, after a fashion).

If you can't tell by the frequency of my posts (meaning there is little else I feel well enough to do), I'm sick again. I'm ready to be so over this. Again.

But on the bright side...there are some happy things:

Luke's occasional doing of the dishes

Z~ picking up groceries, especially the much-craved orange juice

L~ being mostly cheerful, even in the morning (and making it to jazz band--at some point--every day this week)

K~ being mostly patient even though I'm not a good mom right now. At least I have the basics down--hugs and cuddles morning and night

Shane taking the kids shopping for baseball and softball cleats and doing the early morning drop-off for jazz band this week so I could rest a little

Melody indulging me with a salad from Cafe Rio and a good visit last night

a half-day of PTO today that will (hopefully) help me recover over the weekend

being able to say "no" to visiting teaching, scouts and a couple of other obligations (as well as, sadly, a couple of things I really wanted to do)

sunshine after snow

and still--blossoms, ducks and Puffs plus with lotion