Saturday, March 29, 2008

I can do this.

I have this really bad habit of feeling the weight of everything I need to do over a span of time and letting it pile up on me until I feel so overwhelmed I'm afraid I'm going to snap. I'm not just talking about the usual--family, dishes, laundry, house, three meals a day, etc. I'm talking about helping plan a tour for 130 people that has become so much more complicated than it needs to be, managing the family finances and doing this year's taxes, preparing for an Eagle Court of Honor for my son tomorrow night, planning ahead for my husband's birthday on Tuesday, and trying to attend way too many events--showers, birthday parties, etc. than I can realistically get to in one day. I usually manage OK when I feel well, but I have a sinus infection and I don't feel well at all. But the show must go on.

Here is where I am making progress:

Last night I e-mailed a few friends and called my SIL and asked them all to bring some cookies or bars for refreshements to the Court of Honor. This instead of baking all night tonight and tomorrow morning. It was hard for me to ask. I did not make them feel obligated in any way. I was so relieved and felt so loved when they said yes.

I am not going to two of the baby showers I was supposed to attend. I just can't do it. I am, however, sending gifts.

I asked my husband to pick up the groceries so I can make the food I need to for the birthday party.

I'm cheating by having my husband run out to the scout office to pick up this adhesive stuff for attaching the merit badges to the bandalo--no sewing!

Here is where I have room to improve:

Despite my propensity to make my lists backwards (after I do them), I'm going to make a list--maybe I'll even do it here--and set deadlines for myself so I can break the burden up into chunks I can handle. I will have a goal to have my load lightened by next Wednesday, which is one week from the day I leave for Seattle. I hope that will allow me to enjoy conference weekend and spend the time I need to getting myself and my family ready for me to be gone.

If and when certain things beyond my control fall apart, I will not accept or carry guilt for them, particularly when I tried multiple times to be a voice of reason and call for working smarter, not harder.

I will do at least one thing every day that will help me feel peace and contentment.


the list:

*get well
*do the dishes
*clean the living room
*fold the laundry
*clean the dining room
*recurring themes on my to-do list (which, by the way, may be added to at will)

Today
send a gift to baby shower #1
send husband for groceries
send husband for sticky stuff for merit badges
invite grandma R to the court of honor
make baked beans for the birthday party
attend the birthday party with entire family
clean the master bathroom
clean the kids' bathroom
clean my room--again
mop the kitchen floor
send a gift to baby shower #2
arrange for refreshments for Court of Honor
bake refreshments for Court of Honor
have son find the bandalo
pay bills online
apply for 0% interest balance transfer
take son who has practically no clothes clothes shopping w/o getting sucked into buying clothes for other kids

Sunday
get family to church
retake our back bench that has been confiscated by other families in recent weeks because we have been late to church (I failed)
apply merit badges
feed family (ask me how happy I am that the last time I made chicken pot pie I made an extra--which meant four because I was taking two in to friends: one post surgery and one with a new baby--and froze it for a rainy snowy day?)
set up for the court of honor, make the refreshment table pretty
enjoy Luke's Court of Honor
write an April Fool's Day post for Segullah

Monday
work
maybe go to the temple so I don't ruin my goal of monthly attendance (one of those days in which the answer was to take care of the living first, which I did
get reimbursed for some $500 for choir and school stuff I put on my credit card (checks are in the mail)
take library books back and see if I can plead for mercy (read reduction) of outrageous library fine
deal with inactive account status and fees from a certain annoying bank
make simple plans for husand's birthday
shop for husband's birthday
attend final tour meeting
get a final head count for tour (I learn that this is something that may not happen until we are loading the buses)

Tuedsay (yeah right, what was I thinking?)
work
order and pay for food for tour's Sunday lunch at Subway in La Grande, OR
order and pay for food for tour's Sunday dinner from Little Casaers (yuck) in Boise, ID
complete any last minutes assignments for tour
teach youngest son how to catch and throw before "the draft" which will happen while I'm gone
practice with youngest son
celebrate husband's birthday
attend ward temple night (I got there by the skin of my teeth--but was so glad I did--great to see you am'n2deep!)
probably go get rice pudding after for a birthday treat (I still haven't made his cake yet. Maybe I should do that right now.)

Wednesday
complete anything left on "the list"--HUGE!
look forward to reading Crossing to Safety
scrounge up money for a pedicure? consider how nice it will be to take up am'n2deep on her offer for a massage instead. Yeah!
pay the Chase bill
deal with auto insurance that dropped the ball on my sons' good student discounts
decide I really need to extend my deadline for these till Friday

4 comments:

Ms. Julie said...

First of all, this blog is entitled "Simple Things". I merely wanted to point out the irony.

Secondly, I've read and re-read your to-do list, and I can't find a single thing on there that I can take over for you. That is, unless some of the mundane chores from Saturday's list rolled into the next few days. I know you have a distaste for asking for help with that stuff, but I hate to see you so stressed out, and it makes me stressed for you...so if there's something I can do to help, please let me.

dalene said...

Oh yes. The irony is not lost on me. And usually on this blog I stick to the simple things that make me happy instead of the complicated things that stress me out. But I needed to unload "the list" somewhere, and this is my more personal page, so here it is.

Thank you for your kindess. Simple kindnesses as in just wanting to help work wonders for me and see--you already did that!

It will all be good--just spreading the list out over days instead of into one big long pile of things to do that was crushing in the top of my brain was a simple thing I could do and I feel better already.

And now that my last child straggled home and went to bed I'm going to do the same.

Thanks again daredevil!

Am'n2Deep said...

Scrap the pedicure--you need a massage after those lists! ...And you won't even have to scrounge up a dime...I work on Wednesdays...I really do...and I'm serious about the offer!

dalene said...

Am'n2deep--it was so great to see you tonight! And I will take you up on that offer. I'm looking forward to it!